Five things I wish I’d known years ago…
I’m Nutrition and Health Coach and I help women to embrace their midlife. Here are five things I wish I'd known in my 30s...
1. Good enough is good enough!
Like so many women my age, I have struggled with the need for everything to be perfect: diet, exercise, family life, work, appearance. But in the last few years I have started to repeat this mantra to myself, “good enough is good enough”, because it really is!
Often, we get so caught up in trying to make everything perfect that it becomes impossible to keep up such standards. We struggle. Give up. Back to square one.
The great news, my friends, is that, if we set the bar a little lower, we are far more likely to stick to something. To keep showing up for ourselves. Being consistent with any action is far more important AND EFFECTIVE, than constantly striving for perfection and failing.
2. A specific diet or body size doesn’t make you morally superior
For years, I wasted so much time and energy trying to find and follow the perfect diet or trying to reduce my body size to resemble the physique of a 90s supermodel (not in any way realistic for my frame and genetics!). What a waste!
But this wasn’t necessarily about appearance. It was about acceptance, try to fit in, wanting to be liked, wanting people to think I was a better person. The truth is, that being able to stick to a diet, or being in a smaller body DOESN’T make you in anyway better.
If this resonates with you, please know, there are far more interesting things about you and your body shape will not make people like you more. And if you need help with this, please reach out to me.
3. There is no “perfect” diet; there are no good or bad foods
Here’s something that can go right back to the 90s, black and white thinking around food. Labelling foods good or bad (and attaching a moral value to each label). Being naughty. Cheat days.
This thinking is so damaging for our relationship with food and induces guilt and shame around our food choices. No thank you. If you have children, this is especially important. Please let’s not raise another generation of children with disordered eating habits.
Instead, lets focus on foods that have varying degrees of nutrients. No foods off limits, but an understanding of what a well-balanced diet looks like. It’s taken me a while to learn this, which is why I’m now so passionate about helping other women with this.
4. Our bodies are meant to change – and that’s ok – learn to embrace it
Oh man! If only I’d known this in my 30s. Our bodies are incredible! I mean, seriously incredible. They do so much for us, give us so much, yet all we focus on is the fact that they don’t look how they did when we were 20.
I’ve learnt to focus on what my body gives me, what it allows me to do, the life it allows me to live. I may not love how my body looks right now, or the fact that I can’t run without pain anymore, but I am so grateful for the fact it gave me my three amazing kids and for the connection it allows. I can appreciate my body for what it is, and that’s ok!
It's taken me a long time to get to this point, and I wish I hadn’t wasted so much emotional energy feeling like I wasn’t good enough or attractive enough as a result of a natural process.
5. Importance of future proofing (not just about weight loss)
I have always exercised; I’ve always tried to eat a balanced diet. If I’m completely honest, my motivation was not my future health, it was all about weight loss and the way my body looked at that point in time (or how it would look for the next trip to Ibiza).
But, whatever the motivation, I am grateful for the years of effort that I put in. As I now live with Chronic Illness, I’m grateful that I built a strong body in my 20s and 30s.
Perhaps if I’d looked this as a benefit of eating well and exercising, I wouldn’t have been quite so negative towards myself or the way my body looked at the time? Who knows.
The main point is, let’s remember that what we do today might not change the way we currently feel, but can make a huge difference to our ageing selves, way off in the future.
If you have found this article useful or would like some support in addressing any of these issues, don’t hesitate to get in touch: www.carriesmithnutrition.com